Phoo, I probably offended some people, there.
Anyway.
Where have I been? HIDING! The aliens found me, and so I've taken to setting up a bomb shelter and hiding in it so they won't find me again. I don't think they want to probe me or anything, but they keep saying something about "Miley Cyrus," so I figure whatever they want can't be good. But what I really want to talk about is...
a. Hey, I renamed my blog! I figured if I narrowed it down too much, I wouldn't want to do it. So it's not just about fashion anymore, though I'm sure that will come up plenty of times because I'm a fashionaholic. If that's not a word, it is now.
b. Nosferatu! I just watched it last night. Well, I finished it last night anyway. I started it a week ago, but I fell asleep. Not because I thought it was boring, but because for some reason, my lack of sleep caught up with me. What? I sleep four to five hours a night! How could I be tired? *Looks like a panda because of dark circles* I just don't get the importance of this thing called "sleep." Whaaaat.
Nosferatu, a 1922 silent film, was not as creepy as I was hoping, but it was nevertheless quite enjoyable. It featured Max Shreck as a eerie, emaciated, giant-schnozzed, pointy eared vampire known as Count Orlok. The film was obviously based on Bram Stoker's Dracula, but the names were changed to protect the innocent and other liberties were taken with the story.
It's a German movie, so it's loaded with atmosphere and creepy shadowplay. Shreck is also insanely creepy-looking as Orlok. I take my hat off to the guy for being able to function at all under that makeup job. Get a load of this, though if you are a self-respecting vampire fan at all, I'm sure you'll recognize him.
Isn't he cute? I love his hands. I wish I could grow my fingernails out like that. He kind of reminds me of a less-disturbing Anna Varney, her talent and awesome weirdness aside.
Despite the good things about it, there were still some things about this movie that bugged me, or that I didn't find quite as impressive. First off, it's one of those horror movies where the creature moves very, very sloooowwwwly. I wouldn't find this bad in itself, but the protagonists never make a huge effort to get away. They throw their hands up over their forehead in a dramatic fashion and swoon and act terrified, but the vampire just keeps coming.
And coming.
And coming.
Dude, did I just see a turtle run by?
And coming.
OK, to be fair, maybe the monster had a hypnotic gaze or something. That was one of Dracula's original powers, right? But still. That kind of thing in horror movies gets old, but since this is an early horror film, I give it a pass. Maybe back then it was suspenseful.
Second issue: Wow, the protagonists were limp biscuits. I can understand being freaked out by something that looks like Count Orlok, but man, these guys would swoon and pass out over everything! It's common for silent movie characters to over-exagerate, but I got the impression these guys would screech and faint at the sight of my dog, too.
Horrifying. I'm sorry if I made any of you throw up or anything like that. But yeah, the constant swooning and all was actually kind of funny, but didn't help the scariness.
Then there was the last thing that I found annoying, though this time it wasn't the fault of the original movie. The music was bizarre. Being a silent movie, it had a musical score that was added later. I don't know when it was added or who wrote it, but it started out harmless enough. It began as creepy synthesized organ music, sometimes with the use of chimes or glokenshpiel (orhoweveryouspellthat) that were used to good effect. Unfortunately, most of the time it just sounded like some hipster got ahold of a keyboard and thought he was doing something really progressive and original. Which usually translates to a lot of irritating noise. Sometimes it really ruined the mood. If they'd kept it low-key, it would have been quite nice. I kept fantasizing about what it would sound like with a bunch of Blutengel songs added in instead. Then again, maybe not.
Goth music is never silly. Nuh-uh. Nope. (I LOVE BLUTENGEL!!!)
All in all, I think Bela Lugosi made the creepier Dracula, but if you're a fan of vampires or old horror flicks, check out Nosferatu sometime. It's a lot of fun and though it can be slow sometimes, it's a fascinating glimpse into another time. Max Shreck makes a great vampire, and gloomy German silent movies always make an interesting watch.
Thanks for reading, my lovelies!
Z
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